Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
