i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
