I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
