i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
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While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
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We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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