Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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