we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Semen is not good for contacts.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
