how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize