fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
50% drunk capacity currently
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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