Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize