Texts From Last Night

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  (253): View more from Washington

  You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!

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  (253): You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!! http://tfl.nu/4k8v
  Replies (50) Good night (2554) Bad night (6494)
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  (408): View more from California

  You drunk yet?

  (925): View more from California

  Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.

  (408): View more from California

  Cant make any promises.

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  (408): You drunk yet? (925): Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them. (408): Cant make any promises. http://tfl.nu/jm9i
  Replies (9) Good night (4867) Bad night (717)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...

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  (413): I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM... http://tfl.nu/mwn4
  Replies (32) Good night (7113) Bad night (1421)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?

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  (315): I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic? http://tfl.nu/satp
  Replies (23) Good night (4359) Bad night (1243)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.

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  (262): We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college. http://tfl.nu/yagx
  Replies (7) Good night (4095) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.

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  (618): Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this. http://tfl.nu/flrg
  Replies (7) Good night (1590) Bad night (3376)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.

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  (559): I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing. http://tfl.nu/i8zl
  Replies (6) Good night (5625) Bad night (1786)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  ... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.

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  (352): ... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea. http://tfl.nu/mdap
  Replies (6) Good night (2425) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness

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  (515): Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness http://tfl.nu/59mb
  Replies (3) Good night (2447) Bad night (1169)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes

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  (812): Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes http://tfl.nu/54ik
  Replies (8) Good night (741) Bad night (2094)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.

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  (810): I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you. http://tfl.nu/2b90
  Replies (8) Good night (599) Bad night (1898)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'

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  (401): My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.' http://tfl.nu/jt97
  Replies (11) Good night (2220) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.

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  (508): Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance. http://tfl.nu/togo
  Replies (0) Good night (488) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....

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  (618): He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us.... http://tfl.nu/v0bn
  Replies (1) Good night (300) Bad night (207)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..

  (360): View more from Washington

  Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.

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  (509): Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band.. (360): Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza. http://tfl.nu/3rkd
  Replies (0) Good night (452) Bad night (92)

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