Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together

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  (480): U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together http://tfl.nu/9vec
  Replies (14) Good night (721) Bad night (2198)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Can you return condoms to CVS?

  (516): View more from New York

  Only if you return your pride as well.

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  (631): Can you return condoms to CVS? (516): Only if you return your pride as well. http://tfl.nu/vx1b
  Replies (32) Good night (826) Bad night (3760)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.

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  (813): Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get. http://tfl.nu/c3cp
  Replies (10) Good night (4904) Bad night (974)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.

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  (816): Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please. http://tfl.nu/1nwj
  Replies (10) Good night (2936) Bad night (902)
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  (916): View more from California

  Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?

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  (916): Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents? http://tfl.nu/8kv6
  Replies (20) Good night (2616) Bad night (1444)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.

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  (570): God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today. http://tfl.nu/74x0
  Replies (5) Good night (1209) Bad night (678)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?

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  (905): When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog? http://tfl.nu/u47g
  Replies (7) Good night (642) Bad night (1507)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.

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  (514): so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view. http://tfl.nu/r0p2
  Replies (2) Good night (1705) Bad night (613)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.

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  (616): Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy. http://tfl.nu/lqb9
  Replies (5) Good night (1470) Bad night (674)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.

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  (651): I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do. http://tfl.nu/obfe
  Replies (1) Good night (657) Bad night (365)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.

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  (774): On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke. http://tfl.nu/xwsd
  Replies (3) Good night (780) Bad night (485)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...

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  (215): Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment... http://tfl.nu/6162
  Replies (1) Good night (618) Bad night (332)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.

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  (505): I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that. http://tfl.nu/93tp
  Replies (3) Good night (788) Bad night (432)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco

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  (337): You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco http://tfl.nu/5cvy
  Replies (1) Good night (399) Bad night (586)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto

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  (419): He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto http://tfl.nu/0r80
  Replies (0) Good night (455) Bad night (452)

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