Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing

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(541): View more from Oregon

I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.

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(816): View more from Missouri

She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"

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(917): View more from New York City

I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(919): View more from North Carolina

Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval

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(910): View more from North Carolina

the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I think the camel was justified in biting me.

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(941): View more from Florida

Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs

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