I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
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He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
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Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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