That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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