so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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