I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
