I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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