Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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