And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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