im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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