If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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