you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
