who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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