I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
