I just cut my nipple shaving
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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