i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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