And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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