Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
