I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
