I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
