ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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