grandma shit on top of the toilet
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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