Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize