Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just want to make out with him forever
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
