I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
