So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
