just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
