That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
