I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
