It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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