the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I will be naked everywhere
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
be right there i have to get my cape
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
