We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
