I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
