a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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