Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
