Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
