If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
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My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
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So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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