Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
