Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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