Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
