dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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