this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize