Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
