Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
