Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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