Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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